Winding Down

I have writer's block. I start posts and then delete them. I don't have much to say right now except that my brain is so focused on getting ready for school and winding down our summer and nothing seems blog-worthy.

Not even the trip to Randall's yesterday where Kyle and Katie were dancing the in the meat department and she was telling him to fall down on the floor, so he kept laying on the disgusting floor. So I scooped him up and tried to get him to take a break in the cart at which point he turned into a screaming, writhing, 34 pound monster who had the entire store looking at him. After about a minute of fighting to get him into the cart we headed toward the checkout with him screaming "I want my fruit snacks" over and over and over about 50 times. And even though I had told him that he wasn't getting fruit snacks because he was screaming and throwing a fit, he continued to scream it at the checker and the sacker and the manager who came over to help the sacker because she just wanted us to get out of the store since everyone was having to hold their hands over their ears because of the piercing noises coming from my son's mouth. Then she asks the checker for a sticker and tries to give one to him while he's still screaming and I finally just looked at her and said, "he really doesn't need one, but thank you." Yes, let's reward the neurotic little beast with an orange thank you sticker. We went home, dropped him off where he proceeded to have yet another fit for Derek as Katie and I tootled ourselves out the door to Kroger to finish our shopping.

And today when I got up early for church and put pork ribs in the slow cooker so I could make pulled pork sandwiches for Bible study tonight, but by 3pm I realized this isn't going quite the way I expected and those don't look anything like the ones I made a few weeks ago and oh, there's bones in them and I thought I bought boneless and there's lots of fat on there and yuck, I don't have time to deal with this and yes, I have cooking anxiety, especially when it comes to cooking for groups of people. I'm scared that I'm going to poison them or that it will taste bad or that it will look gross or something. I'm not sure why. Derek tells me that I cook well, but he doesn't really like to eat so I'm not sure whether to take that as a compliment or not. Anyway, at 3:30 I decided that I better have a backup plan so I headed to a bbq place down the road and picked up 3 pounds of brisket and some sausage. I should have driven the extra 15 minutes and gone to the one I actually like...next time I will. It wasn't bad, just not what I had in mind. And yes, the pork is still sitting in the slow cooker because I haven't had the time or desire to deal with it. I guess I should put it in the fridge...

Our house is clean, our lawn is mown, the kids are asleep and I should be too. So I am winding this down...